It's not personal, it's business

I love the movie "You've Got Mail." Among many reasons include New York, her bookstore that I want to own and the lovely romantic element that makes my heart melt. Even though it is hard to believe. I've tried Internet dating and that ain't it.

The movie is a little dated now. Who uses dial-up Internet anymore? And does AOL really still say "you've got mail" when you sign on? Mysteries.

But one part of the movie plays in my head over and over when I have days like today. Days that I seem to take every thing personally and feel completely inadequate at everything I do. (I know, I'm dramatic. It happens. Sue me.)

I can take things so personally when at the end of the day, whatever it is, has nothing to do with me whatsoever. And I really struggle with separating anything personal from anything business.

But back to the movie.

In the movie, Meg Ryan's character feels attacked over her business and Tom Hanks, over e-mail because they have yet to meet, tells her to take "The Godfather" approach. "It's not personal, it's business."

She starts chanting it over and over in her head. She even shadowboxes herself to psyche herself up for the impending grudge match.

But in the end, she's not that kind of person. She feels things and being an attack dog is not in her nature. And it all culminates to this encounter:

Joe Fox: It wasn't .... personal.

Kathleen Kelly: What is that supposed to mean? I am so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn't personal to you. But it was personal to me. It's personal to a lot of people. And what's so wrong with being personal, anyway?

Joe Fox: Uh, nothing.

Kathleen Kelly: Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal.

So while I should treat business as business, the relationships I have are personal. Weeding out the good personal from the bad personal may be what I face but I agree. Everything ought to begin by being personal.

Because if it's not, what's the point?