Jalapenos - A Cautionary Tale

And sadly, this cautionary tale has nothing to do with my gastrointestinal system. As long as I take my Zantac, I can eat all the jalapenos I want.

First, for those not familiar with this pepper, here is the definition of jalapeno:

: a small plump dark green chili pepper of Mexico and the southern United States —called also jalapeño pepper

I decided to go out on a limb and try something new this weekend - homemade jalapeno poppers. Stuffed with cream cheese and wrapped with bacon, there was nothing not to like about this recipe.

The hardest part of the preparation is cleaning out the peppers. They are hot little buggers and according to my directions, take out all the seeds and white membrane in order to have a mild flavor. If any of that part is left in the pepper, your mouth will catch on fire.

So as I sat watching the Braves game last night, I cleaned peppers. I had it down to a science and was able to move through them pretty fast.

As I started stuffing the halves with cream cheese, my hand started to tingle. My left hand. I didn't think much of it until suddenly the whole palm of my hand including the pads of my fingers started to burn. And then my pinky finger down onto my hand started to burn. I had washed my hands thoroughly and couldn't figure out what was going on. And let me tell you, it burned like the dickens.

I plunged my hand in cold water which helped for a while. I even started smearing some of the cold cream cheese on it. But I didn't stop stuffing and wrapping peppers. I was determined to finish. And I did.

But by that time, my hand was killing me. It has also turned very red and a bit swollen. I made a bowl of ice water and just left it in there while with my other good hand, I pulled out my computer. I had "jalapeno hands" - yes there is such a thing. It is where the oils of the jalapeno pepper (called "capcacin") absorb into your skin and react just as a chemical burn. Remedies included dunking your hand in Maalox, bleach, butter, rubbing alcohol, calamine lotion and hundreds of others. One lady even went to the emergency room which was a little ridiculous.

The ice water was great except that there came a point I was worried about hypothermia. When I went to bed, my hand still felt like it was ablaze. I wish I could explain what it felt like.

So in order to sleep, I took some Advil PM to help with the pain and then I took a wet washcloth and placed it in the freezer. After five minutes, the washcloth was frozen and I wrapped it around my hand. Then I took a towel and wrapped it around that to keep the wet and cold contained.

It worked! I slept fine and today my hand is still tingly. It's not red and angry like it was last night but it feels like my hand being pricked with a million tiny needles.

So be warned: if a recipe calls for jalapenos, wear rubber gloves when you work them. Let me be a lesson for you.