Chubby arms

This past weekend, I went to visit D.and the family at their new home in Macon, GA. I am so thankful that we live within weekend driving distance of each other still. Although the drive is a little longer than the Oxford one, it's still doable.

The boys crack me up and wear me out all in one fell swoop. I just don't have the stamina for children which I guess is a reason (among many more important ones) that I don't have any yet.

Isaiah is a big boy now as he will remind you quite frequently. He also told me he's "big and strong" to which I wholeheartedly agreed. I want him to always think he's strong and can tackle anything. But we also talked about being safe and smart so hopefully there will be a nice balance between the two.

And then there's Ezra. Ezra is sweet and cuddly and all the things that Isaiah wasn't when he was 18 months old. Isaiah was like a mini-tornado - moving from one thing to another quickly and passionately. He didn't have time to be held or rocked or read to on a regular basis. He wanted to touch and to do things.

But Ezra on the other hand loves to cuddle. He wants to be held and he loves to be read to because he can sit in your lap. And in the morning after he wakes up, he'll greet you by throwing both of his chubby arms around your neck and just snuggling for a bit.

Last week was a busy week and I was mentally and emotionally spent by the time I got to Macon on Friday night. And after a week like that, it's amazing how much good a little unconditional love can do.

Isaiah doesn't act affectionate but he shows affection by letting you be a part of his space. He wants you to play with him, show him how to do new things and answer his questions. My favorite of the weekend: "Riri, why does it rain?" My best answer: "The clouds are heavy with rain and when they get full, they just spill over." And the rest of the day, he talked about the heavy clouds.

Ezra lets you cuddle him and hold him and be close to him. He loves to giggle and make funny faces and watch you make funny faces.

These little boys love me for me. They don't care about my job, my title or my paycheck. They don't care about any mistakes I've made, failures I've had or not-so stellar moments where I wasn't even proud of myself. They just know that I'm the person that's loving them, playing with them and reminding them how awesome they are. Nothing else matters but that one moment being in the present with them.

So now I'm in Atlanta for a meeting and my head is starting to get crammed with anxiety. But in my heart I know I am loved by two little boys in South Georgia. And that means the world. More than they will ever know.