Reality check

Remember the days in college when we would get a syllabus on the first day of class? We'd sit down and before the professor hardly said a word, PLOP! A three-sheet packet would arrive on our desks. Every assignment, every reading, every paper and every test were listed for the next four months.

I remember distinctly having a panic attack every time I received a new one. Those first few days of classes seemed so overwhelming. The sheer amount of work neatly typed on those three pages times seven classes was enough to make anyone start hyperventilating.

But then a couple days would pass and I'd remember that I was not expected to complete every thing on the syllabus within the next week. It would take weeks and months to complete and yes, I was good enough, smart enough and doggone it, people liked me. That was sort of my inner pep talk.

Even though I don't have a syllabus anymore, I still become overwhelmed to the point of anxiety at times. I have plans and tasks and projects that makes my to-do list an ever-growing one. And then those things that no one plans on that pop up coming at me from every direction every day. There are some days that I don't even feel like it's useful to start because there is no way I can do it all.

Keep in mind I've been working at my job in various forms for 10 years and most people would expect this feeling to go away.

It doesn't. It hasn't. Nothing is ever routine. Projects I did last year change drastically in just the course of a few short months. And one thing I've learned is to always expect the unexpected.

Now, almost every morning and on a good week, just once a week, I have to give myself a reality check. This too shall pass. It will be fine and then it'll be done.

It starts to sound like a broken record but I find that the repetition is calming. It reminds me that I've been here before, I made it through and yes, I'll do it again.

Sometimes prayer works like that too. We repeat our prayers to remind us that we've been in this place before, we made it through and we'll always come out on the other end. Maybe not successful - that isn't guaranteed. Maybe not in one piece - it takes brokenness to learn. But we will know grace and love and forgiveness and in the end, that's all that really matters.