Looking out for number 1

I'm a pleaser.

I like people to be happy and I do my best to make sure everyone and everything is copacetic.

But I've learned within the past year that it is not my job to make sure that everyone is happy. That is a lot of responsibility!  And a completely unrealistic expectation to maintain.

It took a while for this to get through my head but now that I have I realize that by focusing on everyone else's happiness, well-being, mental welfare and attitudes, I was really not focusing on myself and what makes me happy, keeps me healthy and makes me the best person I can be.

Now I'm looking out for me and it's an adjustment. At first I felt selfish. Now I feel like I'm being a good steward of the life God has given me.

I've started saying "no" to things that may take up too much of my time outside of work. I've started focusing on my responsibilities at work and what exactly is within my realm of control. I've started running to look after my physical health. I'm reading and journaling to keep my thoughts in order and to focus on my relationship with Christ and with others.

And you know what? By putting myself first, I'm finding that I can become a better friend and a generally happier person that enjoys life. And it's all because I know what my priorities are and what I believe. 

Clarity is a wonderful thing.